I'm Not As Strong As You Think I Am
by superduperducky
Summary: Harry isn't as strong as everybody thinks he is. But no one cares...right? 1-shot, PG-13


**A/N**: Not really sure where this story came from. I had to write a school paper and BOOM!  This creation was born! So yup. Hope you like it. Oh yeah and all you Muggle World fans, the next chapter is in the making! I'm almost done with it! Please review! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside heehee. 

****

I'm not as strong as you think I am, as the world thinks I am. Everyone thinks I'm some mighty, brave angel sent from heaven to save the world from the wrath of Voldemort.

Well the truth is….I'm not.

I'm just like everyone else. Weak and fragile on the inside, but put on a smile as a façade for the rest of the world. Fact is, I'm probably more frail than any one else I know. Sure I may seem like nothing affects me, but everything does. It cuts through me in a raw reality, slicing through my mind. 

I've probably gone through more than wizards thirty years older than I have. I've been through it all: heartache, death, abuse, love, hate, everything. And it's snapped me in half, torn me into shreds, ripped me from limb to limb. 

And I hate that feeling.

That feeling of loneliness, that feeling that no one will ever love me, that feeling of emptiness…..that feeling of worthlessness. I slowly deteriorate from the inside as all the weight the rest of the world sets on my shoulders drags me down. But yet I hide it….I hide the saddening feelings…I hide them from the rest of the world.

Because no one would care anyway.

They just want me here for one reason, and one reason alone. To save the rest of the world  from the all mighty and powerful Lord Voldemort. That's all they care about. They just want to save their own bloody necks. They don't care how I feel…They could care less about my feelings…which is why I hide them.

I bottle them up inside me, they slowly build up until one day they're just going to explode in a torrent of hate and despair. But until that day, they're mine, no one else's. I patiently wait until then. I wait for the day where finally I'll be able to sleep without nightmares, I wait for the day where I can live and sleep in peace.

Nightmares haunt me constantly, even when I'm not in my sub-conscious form. Anytime I close my eyes, on the back of my lids the horrifying images come rushing back to me, further ruining my physical and mental self. The pictures of people being murdered, the sights of people being tortured and hurt. It's frightening and makes me sick to my stomach.

Yet no one realizes how I'm feeling. They don't notice how much paler and thinner I get everyday. They don't notice how much I have to struggle to keep up with their brisk paces. They're all wrapped up in their own lives and matters. They don't see or care, they're blind to how I'm feeling. Not even my best friends, Hermione and Ron notice. Because they all just don't give a damn.

You know, sometimes I think. What if I was just a normal person? Someone that could easily be lost in the crowd, someone that no one would notice. Would I be having these feelings? Would I care whether or not anyone sees me? Would I just want my life to come to a shattering end? Probably not, but I guess I'll never know…because I'm not a normal person.

I'm not a normal person because of this bloody scar on my head. This scar is the reason my life is so confusing and hurtful. This zigzag, pale pink line on my head is the reason why I can't go out on the street in the middle of the day without some complete stranger gawking and pointing at my head saying "Oh look! It's Harry Potter!" All because of this scar on my head that I didn't even want or ask for.

So blindly I stumble about, not really bothering with where I'm going, not really caring. The feelings overwhelm me and soon I'm going to fall over the edge that I've been balancing on for years. And when I fall it will all be over, and nothing will matter anymore. I won't have to worry about grades, I won't have to worry about hiding my feelings, I won't even have to worry about Voldemort. But until then I'll wait.

Because I'm not as strong as you think I am.


End file.
